"How am I?"

For years and centuries before humans were hit by the gadget which even one year old can understand, the most profound question for each thinker (even lesser mortals) was - "Who am I?". Haven't we all read various writer write about this most classical question? Someone even said that most of the work done in art, science and religion actually tried to just answer this 'just' question. Means may be different but the answer to this question is surely the key to self-realization and claiming that self-realization.

But, alas, the question has changed with the introduction of social media and all the image management around it. The question most of us seeking now is "How am I?". If someone just wants to have a look at this question, go on and pick up any social media imprint of a person and the question would right there. In the era where people do not have time to read through a full article (or sometimes a paragraph) - how can we expect someone to read you? And hence it is our 'socially' moral duty to push ourselves into their minds. Even though the image which we try to push is totally fake most of the times.

It was not that this question was not prevalent earlier. Yes, it was prevalent when we all were a kid. Don't you remember, you used to judge yourselves based on how other person feels about you? Like, how do I play a particular based on a friend's opinion, or how do I perform in studies based on a teacher's opinion, or how do I rate myself as a son/daughter based on parent's opinion. Weren't we judging ourselves based on some other person's opinion. And then we grew up with the same philosophic mind of judging ourselves based on what other people think about us. But the difference in those times was the comforting factor that we were fine to live in our cocoon thinking and pondering about one's self as soon as we were out of the world's eyes.

With the advent of social media, humans just took it to another level. Instead of just trying hard at times and getting our high based on how people judge us, we went a step further and introduced marketing to it. Well, isn't business all around you - so why not introduce it in your self as well. And let people judge you highly - yes, because that it what gives us a high. Now, we actually lead people to judge us in a particular way.

A way which is built by us - one status message, one photo, or one check-in at a time...

New Horizon

May be it is that time of the year,
When the dusk and dawn are near.
Or maybe I shrug off the sleep,
While there is dark in tow to keep.

But this time beginning has to start,
And the end needs to be reached.
New horizons are far and beyond,
But light has to breed...

R.I.P. Vrinda Saxena

After nearly 49 days, just want to say - life will never be same again without you...

Vrinda (6 Sep 2004 - 15 Aug 2012)

Have Faith

Or should I say believe in faith.

There are several things beyond yourself and you cannot control them...

Wandering

हम भटकतें हैं, क्यों भटकतें हैं दश्तों-सहरा में

ऐसा लगता है, मौज प्यासी है अपने दरिया में

कैसी उलझन है, क्यों यह उलझन है

It's amazing

It is amazing how an infant can recognize your voice and understand the love in it. And then give a smile or talk to you in his own language. Or even try to turn or raise himself so as to get into your arms.

And it is so amazing that each time the feeling has been awesome for me - be it Saatvik, Riya or now Kartikey. Raising a kid right from day zero and seeing him grow is just a wonderful experience. Thanks Kartikey for reminding me once again.

Routine

Going through routine everyday, wish to break free. Out of the routine for God's sake. Wish to be in a jungle where there are no rules and anything can happen anytime - no routine just instincts.

Jungle - really??
Not sure if I am missing it...

Why does every post need to have a title???

They may forget what you said to them,
But they may never forget how you made them feel.

There is no fire in the hell

While reading a book, came across a good folklore about Lal Shahbaz Qalander. Lal Shahbaz Qalanader is arguably one of the greatest Sufi saint ever born. He was originally born as Sheikh Usman Marwandi, near Tabriz in north-west Iran (but some references also say that he was instead born in Marwand, Afganistan) and his lifespan is somewhere around the end of the Thirteenth century. He came to Sindh (now in Pakistan) much in the same way as Jalal ad-Din Rumi traveled from Afghanistan to Turkey, to escape the advancement of Mongol armies. He was totally an unconventional and non-orthodox saint much to the ire of religious fabric of that time. Some say he was truly a Qalander, or holy fool. His tomb is in Sehwan, in rural Sindh, Pakistan.

So, here goes the story...

One day Lal Shahbaz Qalander was wandering in the desert with his friend, Sheikh Baha ud-Din Zakariya. It was winder and evening time, so they began to build a fire to keep warm. They found some wood and then they realized that they had no fire. So Baha ud-Din suggested that Lal Shabaz (Red Falcon) turn himself into a falcon and get fire from hell. Off he flew, but an hour later he came back empty handed. "There is no fire in the hell", he reported. "Everyone who goes there brings their own fire, and their own pain, from this world".

So true and yet people here are busy thinking what can they do to escape the fire of the hell...

I just wish...

I just wish I could take all your pains and embrace all your fears. Because I do not want you to break down as it is like something tearing me apart - piece by piece, tear by tear. It has been tough going for someone who has been pillar of strength for others but don't you worry - things are going to get good very soon. For all that you do for me and others you love, God will be kind to you - sooner or later. Keep the hope and faith alive.

I just wish...

Sorry, No Walk, Man

A premature report in the newspaper today stating Sony's plan to stop production of their revolutionary Walkman cassette player in Japan, made me nostalgic about a similar device I had in my pre-teen years. Long before the days of portable multimedia devices, when the only portable device was a traditional radio (called 'transistor' in day-to-day language), having a Walkman was a cool thing to have. Who so ever knows about Sony and their history would surely agree that invention of Walkman was the best thing to happen to them and the history of personal entertainment and music industry. Introduced in 1979, it has till now sold more than 200 million units.

I remember that in late 80s, I was hooked onto Binaca Geet Mala - a weekly radio countdown show of top movie songs on Radio Ceylon. It was on my portable radio, that I used to listen to Ameen Sayani each week. Each Monday night, I would climb upstairs to my brother's room and would ask him to set the radio frequency to radio Ceylon. And then my brother bought a Walkman - not exactly the Sony one but a Philips one. A white bodied small little player, it was a huge thing to me. It was such a big craze for me to have that player tucked in my trousers and the headphones on my ear all the time. I used to listen to lots of songs and would love to show off to my friends.

Those were the days...

Heal Thyself

Falling into a bottomless pit, its so hard to wake up since there is no shock involved - you just fall uninterrupted or sometimes you slide so slowly that you do not even know. You need to create a bottom for yourself, which is very hard, and it should be hard enough to stop your fall. But once you create your own end, no one is going to be there to help you rise again. You have to find your own help to come out. You have to heal thyself from the falling side-effects because thou hast only thyself to blame.

One Liner

While driving back to Delhi on a recent trip to Jaipur, read this one liner written behind a truck

बुरी नज़र वाले पाकिस्तान चला जा 

Although we all must have read more funnier (or strange) ones behind trucks but this was one was unique for me. Haven't read something like this till now - why the hell are we getting our neighbors into this. They have their own set of problems, so let them be alone. :)

Sometimes, I do think that people should do research on some of the things which are unexplained till now. One of them is the 'Origin and History of One Liners written behind Trucks'. I also wonder whether such a thing happens only in India or is this a phenomenon in other countries as well.

Power To Dream

Nearly everyone of us have dreams but only very few of us have the power to dream.

This power is not just limited to the dreaming realm only but it spills over to the reality - power to actually go for your dreams. That is the real 'power to dream'.

Sometimes, I wonder can this power be nurtured and developed? Just to think of it, was Mahatma Gandhi already possessing this power or did he developed it across the years? I think he did developed it. It also boils down to how strong is the dream.

So, if someone has a strong enough dream, it is most likely that the power to go for it would actually come in time.

Look No Further

Look no further if I am thinking about negative thoughts. They are deep within me which keep coming back and back to haunt me. Each time they engulf me in their hazy darkness, I cannot see beyond them. They are like the soggy winter mornings so thick that golden sunlight cannot penetrate them. And then comes the act - Anger.

Anger is generated out of negative thoughts. It is the one which is ignited by the darkness of negativity. Surely the worst medium to use for coming out of negative thoughts but most often than not it is the easiest one. But choosing an easy route has its own rough side lanes - Hurt.

In the short run, one feels guilty that by anger you hurt someone. But the fact is that you are hurting yourself. You let yourself down - not in front of someone else but in front of yourself. It is like getting angry on a mirror.

Channelizing the anger is an art which is surely not my forte - but I have to give it one more try.

Denying

The whole act of denying something is acceptance of the act in itself...

The Stroytelling Problem

From Blink by Malcolm Gladwell

We have, as human beings, a storytelling problem. We're a bit too quick to come up with explanations for things we don't really have an explanation for.

Too good and so true.
Not sure about you all, but I surely have this explanation problem.

Why don't we often just say "I don't know"?

Doing The Right Thing

They say, we should always do the right thing - no matter in what state you are or in what circumstances you are. But it makes me wonder, is it really possible for someone who is not God, to always do the right thing day-in, day-out, 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day. Isn't this too much ideal - surreal?

Moreover, is it really possible for a human being to always correctly judge what is right and what is wrong all the time? Don't we all know that when pushed into a corner, into a tight spot, embroiled in bad times, we all human being have a tendency to think and act wrong. But there would still be people who would stand against the wind there - doing the right thing. But can they actually say that they were doing the right thing all the time. Not sure - maybe yes, maybe no.

Even when not pushed into any such situation, one should also ponder upon the fact that the parameters to define right and wrong change across the generations, ages, times, state of the mind and financial status. So, what is right for me in my teens could be wrong when I go beyond them. Also, who is going to define what is wrong and what is right. Are we, as human beings, developed enough to clearly define it? Aren't our definitions biased towards our likings.

But yes, we should always aim for "doing the right thing" at least from our own perspective. Now, that requires our perspective to be clear enough to gauge what is right and what is wrong. And that is the toughest part.

Koshish Technology Center

If the reader of this blog remembers, there was an earlier post on my first visit to Koshish in Sep' 09. Some updates in this post about the Koshish school and its kids.

One of the major thing has been conceptualization and establishment of a Koshish Technology Center, a computer oriented learning center as a joint effort of NIIT Affirmative Action and Home Of Hope, for Koshish kids. It just started with an idea and evolved as a computer based learning and development center.

Koshish Technology Center is established in Madanpur Khadar, near the Koshish school. It is a center open for all the kids of Koshish, where they can have hands on computers and learn english along other subjects in more technology oriented ways. The main goal behind setting this center is to get these kids exposed to technology to which they are otherwise not able to connect with and to help them excel in their studies and life.

The center is running for nearly 4 months now. It has a computer lab for kids and a audio-visual equipment equipped classroom for them as well. All the students visit the center twice a week to work on computers through the help of CBTs and to improve their studies.

 For most of the kids, experience of working on a computer is overwhelming. They enjoy just working on it and do not want to be asked to do anything else :). It is really wonderful to see these kids being so excited about computers.

The idea is not just to expose them to computers and learn faster, the idea is to mentor them in a way that they feel more confident interacting with the outside world which is still “outside” to them. The journey has just begun. There will be learning in all directions – from KTC to Koshish and vice versa. The focus will be more diversified for kids now apart from their regular studies and examination results. The diversity will bring more interest in them towards the real world. The vision is very broad as of now – from computer education to overall development, and all stake holders are tied up together to materialize this vision and help excel our kids in their life.

This is still a work in progress as lots needs to be done for these kids to come par with children from other strata of the society but this is surely going to help their confidence and make them more engaged in their studies.

Lunch Table Ramblings

Most of the times, we do not like some people just because we are in an inertia. The inertia is more about how we are and how the other person is. Basically, we do not want to change.

Now, having an inertia is not a bad thing. You could have inertia and over the time you could come out of it or you could just be inert.